eel.txt
                     How to kill a South Dakota eel
                             (A true story)

     Little Johnny was 12 years old and, like other boys his age, 
     was rather curious.  He had been hearing quite a bit about 
     "courting" from the older boys and he wondered what it was
     and how it was done. One day, he took his questions to his 
     mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining 
     things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtain one
     night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he
     did. The following morning, Johnny described everything to
     his mother in detail:

     "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he 
     turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and
     hugging her. I figured Sis must be getting sick because her
     face started looking funny. He must have thought so too,
     because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart
     just like the doctor would except he's not as smart as the 
     doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.

     I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of 
     them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other
     hand must have been cold because he put it in under her skirt.
     About this time, Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and
     squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This
     was when the fever started. I knew it was fever because Sis
     told him she felt really hot.

     Finally, I found out what was making them sick... A big eel had 
     gotten inside of him somehow. It just jumped out of his pants 
     and stood there about 10 inches long, honest. Anyway, he grabbed
     it  in one hand to keep it from getting away.

     When Sis saw it, she got really scared. Her eyes got big and her
     mouth fell open and she started calling out to god and stuff like
     that. She said it was the biggest one she had ever seen. (I should
     tell her about the ones down at the lake.)

     "Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting it's
     head off. All of sudden, she made a noise and she let the eel
     go....I guess it bit her back.

     Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took
     a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to 
     keep it from biting again.

     "Sis layed back and spread her legs so she could get a scissors-
     lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel.
 
     "The eel put up a helluva fight." Sis started groaning and squealing 
     and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill
     the eel by squashing it between them.
 
     After a while, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her 
     boyfriend got up and sure enough they had killed the eel. I knew
     it was dead because it just hung there, limp with some of it's 
     insides hanging out.

     "Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but
     went back to "courting" anyway. He started hugging and kissing
     her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead. It jumped straight up 
     and started fighting again. I guess eels are like cats... they
     have nine lives or something.

     "this time Sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on
     it. After a 5 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I
     knew it was dead this time because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel
     it's skin off and flush it down the toilet."